The Toolbox Iscariot was originally lent to the disciple Judas by Jesus when the former needed to fix his shower. Already revealing telltale signs of his perfidious nature, Judas "forgot" to return the toolbox, which Jesus had taken from his father Joseph's workshop. The following scene in one of the Dead Sea Scrolls would appear to shed some light on the story:

'"Judas," quoth the Lord, "Why hast thou not returned the toolbox which I hath lent to thee in good faith? Knowest thou not that my earthly father Joseph requireth the tools therein to construct an airing cupboard for the wife of the scribe Mathew of Galilee?"
"Forgive me, Lord," quoth Judas, "It slipped forth from my mind when I left the house this morning. But yeah, I say unto thee, for sooth, I shall bring unto you the toolbox next week, just as soon as I have repaired my mower of the lawn which hath made veritable funny noises of late and which leavest vexing tufts of untidiness in the midst of the smooth greeness."'

Thenceforth, the Toolbox Iscariot is said to have disappeared under unexplained circumstances, only to reemerge at a campsite near Peebles in Scotland at some point during the 1970s.

The Toolbox Iscariot is fabled to have the power to instantaneously repair faulty plumbing and to optimise the performance of gardening implements.

Related tags:

my holy prepuce, toolbox

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sancta praeputia

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